Ma Vecchio:
St. Maria frowns upon you this day,
Your lost salvation in sodomy.
After what you have just told me
You'll have to say your Rosaries
From now 'till you're eighty-three.

You see my sweating brow?
You feel my beating heart?
How can you stand there now?
And tear your ma apart?

And when you've thought it through
You will make the right choice
Between this man and my pasta fagiole.

Maria and Frannie and Tony:
You may be called a queer,
And banned from certain bars.
You may be shot at work
Or just gang-raped or worse.
And when they've made you think
You will make the right choice
Between this man and her past fagiole.

Entire 27th Precinct:
Blame Canada!
Blame Canada!

Welsh:
When I think of what they do
It makes me sad to be a Lieu.

Entire 27th Precinct:
It's all so plain!
UST in each show!
I have the proof
On video!
We'll beat his head in!
He'll feel such pain!
It's all so plain!

Vecchio:
Up there there's a small hard bed
Where Benny lays down his lovely head.
You say if I take him then I'm dead.
Why don't you all fuck off instead?

Vecchio and Kowalski:
Shut your Dago/Pollock face, Mountie fukka!
We all know you fuck your Mountie, Mountie fukka!

Kowalski:
Where's my Rennie? I wanna suck!

Vecchio:
Where's my Benny? I wanna get fucked!

Fraser and Turnbull:
Why are Yankees all so uptight?
We never meant to cause a fight.
Just how offensive will Manna make this song?

Vecchio:
I want to be up there!

Welsh:
When the Mounties are run out of town
I can give Meg Thatcher a dressing-down!

Ma Vecchio:
I should cut myself a swtich
And bare your small backside
And don a large hairshirt
And really tan your hide.
But you are a grown-up man
And I'm sure you'll make the right choice
Between this man and my pasta fagiole!

Vecchio:
I want to be up…there!

Entire 27th Precinct:
Blame Canada!
Blame Canada!
Blame Canada!

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