Top Ten Things I Learned from Reading DS SlashOrleans


1. It's against the law in Canada to discriminate against people because of their sexual orientation.

2. Wolves mate for life.

3. When someone says a film is Canadian, they mean it's gay porn.

4. There are lots of gay Chatholics.

5. Diefenbaker has been wondering for years when the two alpha males of his pack will finally come to their senses.

6. The Inuit don't have sexual hang-ups about anything.

7. Going into a sweatlodge with the one you love will result in animal spirit visions and a lifetime of really hot sex.

8. Dreaming of someone who's in a coma will result in really hot virtual sex.

9. One should always read the ingredients on the bottle before using something as a personal lubricant.

10. Ray is long and elegant, while Benny is sturdy and snow-white...if you get what I mean.

11.We should all be really, really glad the show didn't get into Ray and Frankie's early years.

12. Benny learned how to do great massages from a book in his grandmother's library in Tutoyuktuk.

13. Fraher Behan thinks people should "just follow their heart."

14. Victoria really, really hates Ray now.

15. Turnbull came to Canada to be near the Mountie he's been lusting after from afar.

16. Vecchio Sr. is a major homophobe and Fraser Sr. doesn't care who Benny ends up with as long as it isn't Victoria.

17. Frannie didn't sleep with Fraser because he didn't want to sleep with the sister of the man he loves.

18. Susan Chapin? Irene Zuko? Louise St. Larent? Poor substitutes for the real thing.

19. If ever given a chance to raise a child together, Ray and Benny would be the best parents in the world.

20. Despite paper-thin walls, Benny's neighbors are all completely deaf, but everyone in Ray's house can hear so much as a quiet moan from three rooms away.

21. Long, boring Inuit stories are just another way of saying "I love you."

22. Ray's butt looks, feels, and, strangely enough, tastes just like a peach.

23. Ma Vechhio is just waiting to have "another son."

24. Benny's bed is so uncomfortable that the damn bedroll is actually a better place to get it on.

25. One of them is a total slut and the other is all repressed, but it's not clear which one.

26. Ray's favorite movie is anything with Stallone, while Benny's favorite is some weird, boring thing about lion cubs in the wild.

27. Those red longjohns aren't nearly as difficult to get out of as you'd think.

28. All those times on the show when you might have thought they were just being really good friends, they actually wanted to hump each other's brains out.

29. Benny's first lover was either Eric, Mark, or just this made-up Inuit guy.

30. That hair on Ray's shorn hair is all soft and sensual when you stroke it.

31. "Mountie Heaven" actually has nothing to do with the RCMP or horses.

32. "You're the most annoying man in the world" is a really a secret code for "I love you too."

33. ::gasp:: They're gay!!


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